Wednesday 1 December 2021

The Bullshite Kiada or the USPS Delivers

Dealing with bureaucracies, political or corporate, is worse than being Dustin Hoffman being tortured by that Nazi former dentist played by Lawrence Olivier in the film The Marathon Man. Unfortunately, I have to deal with a lot of bureaucratic muck-ups these days. No bureaucracy fucks up, in my experience, more than the United States Postal Service, which I have to deal with at least once a month.

This month the problem has involved the package below. According to this tracking information, this package, as you can see, has been in Albany, New York, the place where the item is going, since Friday, 19 December. That is over ten days ago.

Tracking information:
Friday, November 19
1:03 AM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
Albany Ny Distribution Center, US

Thursday, November 18
10:58 PM
Package left the carrier facility.
Springfield Ma Network Distribution Center, US
9:52 PM
Package left the carrier facility.
2:47 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
Springfield Ma Network Distribution Center, US
Tuesday, November 16
7:07 PM
Package arrived at a carrier facility.
Harrisburg, PA US

When I wrote and asked why this item has been sitting in Albany since 19 December, I got this rather typical Orwellian response from the USPS:

Dear Ronald Helfrich,

This is in response to your inquiry regarding your mail delivery service. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Package in Transit , haven't been received at Albany Carrier Annex yet

Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to respond. If you have any questions, please contact me at the telephone number below.

Sincerely,

Osama M

Note that this response tells me nothing I don’t already know. See the tracking information above. Note that the response doesn’t address why the item has been sitting in its destination city for over ten days. Note that this response doesn’t address the issue of why the item has not arrived at the Annex sometime within the ten days or so it has been sitting somewhere in Albany. Note that the response does not address the incompetence that allows the item to sit somewhere in the Raiders of the Lost Ark bureaucracy zone in beautiful Albanya. Note that the response doesn’t say that the USPS will try to do something about the incompetence that lets the package sit in some secret location without moving for over ten days. Note that this response is simply public relations bullshite; bs, of course, is at the heart of bureaucracies of all types these flim flam days. Note that there really isn't a damn thing I can do about this other than whinge and complain. Welcome to KafkaLand. But hey, at least I got an apology. Tiny mercies.

Postscript (late November early December 2021):

The item has clearly been swallowed by the USPS lost item black hole, the same black hole that elsewhere swallows socks. The seller issued me a refund. Now I no longer have to worry about the package that fell into the Albany USPS distribution centre Twilight Zone.

Yet another postscript referencing the futility of dealing with the USPS (mid-December 2021):

You have to dig the pony that is the USPS. They keep responding to the question I asked them "where is my package" with the same candy coloured canned bullshite. Your package, they write, for the third time, hasn't arrived at the Albany Post Office.

Of course, as I have noted several times before, I know that. I can read and I can read USPS tracking information. Tracking indicates that my package has been in the Albany Distribution Centre since 19 November and has settled in ever since.It apparently likes it there or, alternatively, has been lost in the black hole that is the USPS on far too many occasions. I am simply asking why the package has not moved since 19 November, a simple question the USPS seems intellectually and physically incapable of answering.

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