Monday 28 June 2021

Dogmatics and Demagogic Studies in the Kingdom of Florida: All Hail the Power of Ronnie DeSantis's Name...

 

Hey Ronnie baby. I am writing to you in order to offer my services to your majesty. I can, should you deign to hire me, develop programmes in uncritical dogmatic studies to be taught in your majesty's colleges and universities in the Kingdom of Florida. I can also teach, face-to-face or online, these courses to the millions in your majesty's college and university students who are anxiously awaiting them with sweaty alms and baited forked tongue breath.

As part of my application for this position I have drawn up for your consideration, your majesty, a few tentative courses that might be offered in the faculty of Dogmatic and Demagogic Studies. The only prerequisite for Uncritical Dogmatics courses, of course, will be membership, as evidenced by a membership card, in one of the Kingdom's White right-wing evangelical churches, the beloved official Church of the Kingdom. It is assumed that virtually all students in the Kingdom's halls of higher education will have one of these just as many in the USSR joined the Communist Party. 

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 1001: Boris and Natasha: Introduction to the Evils of Commieism (4)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 1002: She's Got the Devil in Her Heart: Satan is the Author of Critical Race Theory (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 1003: Beelzebub's Fibs: The Social Sciences Are the Spawn of Satan (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 1004: God's History: America the Good (3)
 
Dogmatics and Demagoguery 2001: All Hail the Power of Jeezus's Name: The Sanctity and Holiness of the Free Market (3)
 
Dogmatics and Demagoguery 3001: God's Holy Men: Capitalist Saints from Adam Smith to Donnie "Tangholio" Drumpf (4)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 3002: Onward White Christian Soldiers: There is Only One Religion, One Christianity, and One TANGHOLIO in God's Chosen Land (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 3003: The Meek Shall Inherit the House: Women in God's Chosen Land (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 3004: The Eye of the Trumpeedle: Being a Man in God's Kingdom (3)
 
Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4001: Abel was White: The Goodness and Holiness of the White Man's Burden (4)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4002: Royal Guns and Royal Butter: America is God's Chosen Nation (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4003: Here's Jeezus: Christian Zionism, The Only Good Jews, and the End Times (3)
 
Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4003: Hail Caesar (3)
This class will focus on saintly Dogmatist/Demagogue political and economic leaders such as Donnie Boy Trump and Ronnie Goy Boy DeSantis
 
Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4004: Any Means For God's End: Lying for the Lord (3)

Dogmatics and Demagoguery 4999: Capstone Proseminar in Uncritical Dogmatics (4)
All undergraduate students majoring in D&D will be required to take this course before graduation. Students taking this proseminar will be required to read that classic of systematic dogmatism, the Capitalist Catechism. Before students can pass this class, they must demonstrate mastery of this holy catechism by writing the holy mantras on the blackboard one hundred times. Proctors, of course, will assure that the phrases of the holy catechism are written on the board in selectively literalist fashion.

Students majoring in Dogmatics on the undergraduate level can earn a BS degree. At some point in the future, we should consider offering a master's course in uncritical dogmatics. Master's students, should this programme be initiated, can earn a Master of BS.

Hail Caesar.

Contact Information:
The Royal Department of Dogmatic and Demagogic Studies
61666 Royal Court
Tallahassee, Kingdom of Florida, CSA
by appointment of His Royal Majesty, Ron XXXIII
Freiheit in Ordnung und Konformität

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