Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Amazon Just Keeps Wanking On and On and On...

As you know dear unreaders there are a lot of things I dislike about Amazon. I despise that they have increasingly become a monopoly and that they are using that monopoly power. I have that they take reviews of CD's and DVD's and apply them to new CD and DVD releases assuming in the process that there are no difference in CD or DVD releases. I hate it that so many of Amazon's reviews are simply drivel. And I hate the fact that Amazon puts up photos of products that are not fully pictures of the products they have for sale.

Recently I purchased two CD sets from I-Deals through Amazon's marketplace, Alice Cooper: Original Album Series and The Cars: Original Album Series. Before I purchased these items I looked carefully at the photos on the website to make sure that like the Sony Original Album Series the box sets in the WB series were made in the EU. I then ordered the two box sets.

You can imagine my surprise, therefore, that when I received these items I discovered after opening them that they were not made in the EU but made in the USA. I contacted Amazon directly or rather their online customer service representatives in India, Bangladesh, or Pakistan, and pointed out that Amazon had the wrong photos up and requesting a refund since the pictures were up on the Amazon website. They responded with the usual customer service drivel. I give you a sample below:
"I've checked your items and see that the picture shows the item to be made in the EU. I've checked further details of the items and see that the item is sold by different sellers. Please find on the page that although most of the sellers ship the items from United Kingdom, the seller i-Deals ships the item form US. Please note that the items from i-Deals just shipped from Kentucky, US, but not actually made there."

This is, of course, not only disingenuous but it is utter bullshit, utter Amazonese. Amazon, one of the largest retailers in the known universe, knows that CD's are often produced in different nations for sale in different regions. They knew that Alice Cooper Original Album Series and The Cars: Original Album Series were made in the EU for the EU market and made in the USA for the US market. Amazon knows that the photos, which IT undoubtedly "borrowed" from its European vendor, are misleading and are examples of false advertising. But Amazon (I am shocked, shocked) won't take responsibility for their own misdeeds. And that is why Amazon is one of the leading wankers and one of the leading purveyors of wankerness in the universe today.

I sell some of my DVD's and CD's on Amazon and got this missive from them this week:
Amazon Sep 18, 2014 12:53 PM
Greetings from Amazon Seller Support,

Thank you for your interest in selling on As part of your application to sell in the Video, DVD, & Blu-ray category, we require additional information.

Please submit the following documents:

•Three legible, scanned, or clearly photographed invoices or purchase orders for the products you intend to sell in the Video, DVD, & Blu-ray category

•A brief summary of processes you have in place to prevent inauthentic goods from entering your inventory

NOTE: All pricing information should be removed from the invoices or purchase orders. We are not currently accepting store receipts for review.

Your invoices or purchase orders must
(i) be dated within the last 180 days or show an item delivered or purchased within the last 180 days and
(ii) include the following:

•Your name and contact information or your company’s name and contact information

•The name and contact information of the company that provided the invoices or purchase orders

•The names of the products you purchased and the quantity of each product

Please attach the required documentation to your email response (e.g., as a PDF file or an image file). We reserve the right to verify all submitted documentation including contacting any vendors identify in your application.

We will respond to you within 48 hours after you provide this information.

Thank you for selling with Amazon,

Needless to say, the irony of a corporation that is on a mission of world domination asking me for documentation on the DVD's I sell when they can't even get their products photographs correct is amusing and yet another instance of Amazon double standards. Power allows you to mislead your consumers about your products but yet demand that your private sellers, business and individual, supply them. Amazon, wanker par excellence.

And the wanking continues:
I ordered a copy of Vivaldi Masterpieces from Amazon. The item pictured says "made in the EU". The item I was sent says "made in Canada". I ordered Vivaldi Masterpieces based on this photo. The item I received was NOT the item I ordered. As such I will be returning it because I ordered this item based on Amazon's false advertising. Caveat emptor.

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